Hi, could someone review my essay.
prompt: Unfortunately, in contemporary society, creating an appealing image has become more important than the reality or truth behind that image.
In today’s day, where living standards are higher than ever and almost everyone has some level of education, society is has become much more competitive, productive, and scrutinizing. It is because of these traits, that ensuring that you yourself or a product you are producing/selling looks as appealing as possible to the general public has risen to the top of the list of priorities in all aspects of life. As a result, the reality or truth of what is behind that person or product has lessened. Due to the benefits of good reputation and opportunities, creating an appealing image has become more important than what that image is masking.
Firstly, by having a alluring image as a person makes you more likable and accepting within society. Especially due to how standards of living and etiquette are rising, how one presents themselves to the public eye has become a very important. For instance, lets say you have a individual who owns an honest business, provides for his family, does charity work, and is well known to he/her colleagues as a intelligent and kind person who always does the right thing. Now, to focus in on the social aspects of having a good reputation, as being socially acceptable is very important in today’s society as societal pressures and expectations of how you are suppose to act and dress have never been higher before. But if you are able to meet such standards, many people will look up to you in a favorable light, such as many star celebrities. Such a positive image leads to a good reputation, and by having a good reputation, it allows for healthy connections with those around you and opens up many more opportunities that otherwise would have been closed.
Now, let’s say this individual was in sudden financial trouble, and his business went bankrupt. This is a horrific event to happen to anyone, because that business was how he supported his family and lived a prosperous life. However, due to his good image to his many colleagues and people he interacts with on a daily basis, there is a very good chance that someone in his network circle will reach out and provide assistance to this individual so that he and his family may regain their footing and start anew again. Clearly, by being able to present himself as a socially appealing person, this individual was able to circumvent the worst of a life-changing event through the help of someone else who percieves him as a endearing and upstanding person. With that being said, we can infer that because of his appealing image to society, when he was facing tougher times, those around him for saw him favorable were much more likely to lend a hand than not if he wasn’t seen favorable.
However, let’s add an additional detail to this seemingly perfect individual’s life, where the reason his company went bankrupt was because this individual had taken a large sum of funds from the company’s account and frivolously spent it all on personal items and luxury goods. This instantly puts that person in a completely different light, and if those around him found out, they would without a doubt no longer see him as a appealing person to society anymore. But as you can see, since others around him, don’t know the intricate details of his life, and only can see the image that he has presented to them, he is able to convince them that they are someone who they aren’t. This highlights two important points in this issue, being that if you are able to maintain such an appealing image, fortune and opportunities will come to you abound, but if anything happens so that this image you have presented is shattered or broken, everything you have amassed and gained will come tumbling down very very quickly.
In the end, creating an appealing image is extremely important in ensuring that others around you see you as someone they would strive to be, as it earns their trust, support, and generosity. This helps you stay socially active, meet important connections, and gain access to opportunities you would have never thought of. However, their are many dangers to creating an appealing image, especially if what is under that image is nothing but lies and deceit, as people’s perception of you will flip very quickly, and all the benefits you have been reaping will disappear instantly.
According to the AI/ML grader on Achievable, I scored a 4.5/6, which was much higher than I expected, as I felt like I mainly rambled about nonsense and barely provided sufficient evidence. The auto-grader only advised me to focus on sentence length, and word count rather than actual content of the essay. If someone could, could they let me know if my actual content was alright, and what improvements should be made as well as do I need to cite specific studies within my writing to get a good score? Thank you!