About the Analytical writing category

Post your essays for peer review, discuss strategies, etc.

Hello, I’m posting my argument essay for review. The system scored it 4/6 and noted that I need more substance in the body paragraphs. Currently each of my body paragraphs is around 100 words, but it recommends about 200 words. Can you please advise what else I could add? I’m refuting the idea of investing in an oil company. Thanks!

Homes in the northeastern United States have traditionally used oil as a major fuel source for heating, and last year the region experienced 90 days with below-average temperatures. Because climate forecasters predict these low temperatures will continue for several more years. it is recommended to invest in Consolidated Industries, one of whose major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil. However, this recommendation rests on several inadequate assumptions. These are the assumptions that people will continue to use oil to heat their homes, that the supply chain of oil will remain steady and that climate forecasters’ predictions are entirely accurate.

First, the assumption that people will continue to heat their homes with oil may be inaccurate. Over the past several years, numerous developed countries have recognized the unquestionable need to stop using non-renewable energy sources and start using more carbon-friendly, renewable energy sources like solar, wind and hydropower. Although oil is currently the most widely used and convenient resource for heat, this will change in the near future. Savvy politicians and forward-thinking scientists are encouraging vehicle and home owners to switch to electric vehicles and solar or wind power for home energy. Local governments are also creating mandates for businesses to make this unavoidable switch. Oil is not sustainable, and thus the demand in the long run will preciptiously decrease.

The second assumption that is inaccurate is that the oil supply chain will remain steady. However, if there is any economic or political instability around the world, for example the current situation with Russia and Ukraine, this can disrupt the steady supply chain. When the oil supply chain is disrupted, it will cause a burdensome shortage where regular prices will sharply increase. This will lead to angry customers and homeowners who may decide to conserve their oil and use less energy for heating or switch to alternative energy. This would in turn effectively and quickly drive the price of the oil stocks down.

Lastly, one cannot assume that the predictions of the climate forecasters are entirely accurate. Over the last 10 years, the world has seen an extreme advance in global warming. Across the beautiful globe, frozen ice caps are melting, seasonal temperatures are rising and more terrible, and natural disasters like floods and forest fires are occurring. Thus, it cannot be assumed that global warming will not increase the winter temperatures in the Northeastern United States. When temperatures increase, oil customers will be ecstatic to decrease their oil consumption and spend less money on heating per year. This situation is unavoidable.

With all these inaccurate assumptions concluded, it is not a beneficial recommendation to invest in Consolidated Industries. With the increase in renewable energy sources, it cannot be assumed that consumers will continue to use oil to heat their homes. With the stark evidence of what has occurred in Ukraine and Russia, it cannot be assumed that oil supply chains and prices will remain stable. Lastly, with the increase of global warming, one cannot assume that the predictions of climate forecasters are entirely accurate. Thus, the recommendation provides insufficient evidence for investment.